Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Drivin' Free and Season Three
How Much Better Can it Be?
Today is a day I wait for all year. Today was the day I stepped out of work, realized I felt slightly warm in my jacket, and determined that yes, in fact, the time had come. As I approached my car in the parking lot, I opened the passenger side door instead of the driver's side. I did this... to unlock... the T-top.
There are few joys as indescribable as cruising in the sun with a great CD on, hair pulled up all cute (but looking like I don't care of course) sunglasses on, and just feeling hott with two t's. Nothing makes you feel like the center of attention like driving a bright green Del Sol around on a sunny day. I finally accomplished all the errands I'd been meaning to run, because I never wanted to go home and put the top back on the car.
In my travels I exchanged the second copy of Season IV of Friends that I recieved (for my birthday) for Season III, which I still hadn't acquired. I also picked up an Italian sub from Subway, which was cheap because they have their Tuesday special. I also finally cashed in my fuel perks at the Giant Eagle gas station. On a day when gas was $2.13/gallon, I put 10 gallons in my car for $10.05. Now, I'm no math whiz, but even I can tell you that fuel perks are awesome. The system especially works when one's mother is too lazy to get her own advantage card, so she therefore uses yours, thus bumping up your fuel perks with every trip to the store. Anyway, I don't care how it happened. The point is, I fueled up the cutest car ever, feeling like the cutest girl ever, with a copy of season III of the best show ever, after eating the best sandwich ever. Today... was awesome.
(Switching gears here... just a warning)
So... the way it works is this. Women think about men all the time, and men think about women all the time. It's the way it goes. People are all about the relationships they're in, and those who aren't in relationships are probably getting hounded about it, regardless of whether they are happy being single or not. This bothers me. I remember being single, and enjoying being single. However, the first question a new person asks is whether or not you're seeing anybody. It's right up there with what your name is and what you do for a living. I would hate to think that one's relationship status defines one as a person as much as one's occupation does. That bothers me.
Anyway, I seem to have gotten off track. I don't know how I got here. What I mean to be discussing is this constant thing between men and women. I'm sure it's biology for the most part, but there's such a juggling factor... and so much of it is timing. Think about it. Think about all the men/women you've dated, almost dated, or been attracted to. Now think about how time played a role in that attraction or result. I bet that in most cases, timing was more important than you'd like to give credit. Did that person ever come back later as a changed person? Did you ever grow up a lot and want to go back to a former interest who had since moved on? Maybe what makes the relationships that work functional, is merely good timing. I'm sure that's not true in all cases. I'm sure relationships fail for way more important reasons such as, oh, I don' t know, cheating, abuse, or having nothing in common. But... I'd like to examine timing as an option. I think the world oughta give it a chance. Just a theory.
I have this weird fascination with time and the passage of it. I'm oddly obsessed with it. I'm driven crazy in a cool way by things that happen over time. Changes. And how those changes look in retrospect. I'm very big on reflection. I sit and think all the time about who I was at any given time and what I would have thought of things that are going on now. I think about the people who are important to me, and the people who were important to me at every other crucial time in the life of Claire. It's funny - the other day I was talking to Josh and he was talking about something he and the boys did his freshman year. And I mentioned something about being in high school as a senior... I mentioned that I wasn't around for it. And then it occurred to me that as this funny thing was happenning to Josh, as he was having this experience he was describing his freshman year of college that he remembers years later, at that very moment that that was happenning to him, it was very possible that I was out having my own memorable experience with John and Jason. Funny how things sorta come full circle. I didn't even know the people I met in college during that time. Jaime, Damien, Josh and Tony... none of the boys, none of my roommates, existed to me at that time. John and Jason did. And they were important. And then in the subsequent years, all those other people became so important and I never thought I'd see John or Jason again, and at the time it didn't matter all that much. I'd heard rumors of John being into drugs, and that saddened me... and somehow I felt above all of that, and that I never needed to look back. Since then I've been thrown back, and I am so freakin' thankful for it because it gives so much perspective. I don't know... I wonder if any of this makes any sense. It's just funny. Senior year of college I never could have imagined what was to come. But... that same statement can be made for every year I was in college, and even the time that has elapsed since. It's mind-boggling.
When I write songs for the band, I take a feeling that I have, and I describe it in scenario - form. (For the lyrics of course, music is a whole different beast.) But... I never make any kind of conscious effort to include specifics in the lyrics of a song... they're just meant to mirror an abstract feeling. It's funny though, when I go back and read what I've written, in almost every song there's a reference to the passage of time and how I feel about it since.
Six Years in Korea is 100% about it. I mean, there's not even an obscure reference there. That's what the song is about. It's about looking back and saying, "Wow. Just... damn."
Roadside Rave has elements of it too... the music reminded me of the feeling of being out of the woods sorta, and that's how the song wrote itself. It's a sort of "Wow, that was wild, but we're okay now" sort of feeling. So it's got elements of the passage of time too.
Five Forced Smiles does it again. The whole song, the lyrics stay in the present, describing a sad scenario and a lost feeling. But then the very last verse describes what happens after time, and the overall joy that sorta comes back in.
Senses doesn't really make any direct references, although each verse is about a different person, and that itself sorta represents time.
What I Missed is almost as direct as Six Years in Korea. It's just about, well, "what I missed." The feeling of looking back on something you didn't even think about and having to sort of ruminate on it. It's a messed up feeling, but there it is again. All that time bullshit.
Sieze the Night isn't quite as time-oriented. I wrote it about the glory days of college, but there isn't really a sense of reflection. Well, come to think of it, maybe there is a little bit. As it asks the question, "Do you remember?" a lot. I don't know.
In the Distance doesn't do it as much either... it is also more direct. And it sounds like a Nintendo game.
The new funk song that doesn't have a name yet is also very much reflective upon changing times. It's about those people you know so well at one point and then sorta lose somewhere along the way.
Anyway, I just realized that I've written a buttload of songs. That's kinda cool.
But, I notice in a lot of songs the trend to put different verses in different times, as if one was written one year, and another verse in another year. They're written in present tense, but they're separated by goings on. It'd be like writing, "Well, I'm out here in my horse and buggy and it's awesome" then singing a chorus and then being like, "So today I am flying around in my space ship and it's hott with two t's." It's funny... and maybe a little abnormal. I wonder what all of that means regarding my psyche. Who knows.
This entry is long enough. Time to go do something else.
Peace out home slices.
Today is a day I wait for all year. Today was the day I stepped out of work, realized I felt slightly warm in my jacket, and determined that yes, in fact, the time had come. As I approached my car in the parking lot, I opened the passenger side door instead of the driver's side. I did this... to unlock... the T-top.
There are few joys as indescribable as cruising in the sun with a great CD on, hair pulled up all cute (but looking like I don't care of course) sunglasses on, and just feeling hott with two t's. Nothing makes you feel like the center of attention like driving a bright green Del Sol around on a sunny day. I finally accomplished all the errands I'd been meaning to run, because I never wanted to go home and put the top back on the car.
In my travels I exchanged the second copy of Season IV of Friends that I recieved (for my birthday) for Season III, which I still hadn't acquired. I also picked up an Italian sub from Subway, which was cheap because they have their Tuesday special. I also finally cashed in my fuel perks at the Giant Eagle gas station. On a day when gas was $2.13/gallon, I put 10 gallons in my car for $10.05. Now, I'm no math whiz, but even I can tell you that fuel perks are awesome. The system especially works when one's mother is too lazy to get her own advantage card, so she therefore uses yours, thus bumping up your fuel perks with every trip to the store. Anyway, I don't care how it happened. The point is, I fueled up the cutest car ever, feeling like the cutest girl ever, with a copy of season III of the best show ever, after eating the best sandwich ever. Today... was awesome.
(Switching gears here... just a warning)
So... the way it works is this. Women think about men all the time, and men think about women all the time. It's the way it goes. People are all about the relationships they're in, and those who aren't in relationships are probably getting hounded about it, regardless of whether they are happy being single or not. This bothers me. I remember being single, and enjoying being single. However, the first question a new person asks is whether or not you're seeing anybody. It's right up there with what your name is and what you do for a living. I would hate to think that one's relationship status defines one as a person as much as one's occupation does. That bothers me.
Anyway, I seem to have gotten off track. I don't know how I got here. What I mean to be discussing is this constant thing between men and women. I'm sure it's biology for the most part, but there's such a juggling factor... and so much of it is timing. Think about it. Think about all the men/women you've dated, almost dated, or been attracted to. Now think about how time played a role in that attraction or result. I bet that in most cases, timing was more important than you'd like to give credit. Did that person ever come back later as a changed person? Did you ever grow up a lot and want to go back to a former interest who had since moved on? Maybe what makes the relationships that work functional, is merely good timing. I'm sure that's not true in all cases. I'm sure relationships fail for way more important reasons such as, oh, I don' t know, cheating, abuse, or having nothing in common. But... I'd like to examine timing as an option. I think the world oughta give it a chance. Just a theory.
I have this weird fascination with time and the passage of it. I'm oddly obsessed with it. I'm driven crazy in a cool way by things that happen over time. Changes. And how those changes look in retrospect. I'm very big on reflection. I sit and think all the time about who I was at any given time and what I would have thought of things that are going on now. I think about the people who are important to me, and the people who were important to me at every other crucial time in the life of Claire. It's funny - the other day I was talking to Josh and he was talking about something he and the boys did his freshman year. And I mentioned something about being in high school as a senior... I mentioned that I wasn't around for it. And then it occurred to me that as this funny thing was happenning to Josh, as he was having this experience he was describing his freshman year of college that he remembers years later, at that very moment that that was happenning to him, it was very possible that I was out having my own memorable experience with John and Jason. Funny how things sorta come full circle. I didn't even know the people I met in college during that time. Jaime, Damien, Josh and Tony... none of the boys, none of my roommates, existed to me at that time. John and Jason did. And they were important. And then in the subsequent years, all those other people became so important and I never thought I'd see John or Jason again, and at the time it didn't matter all that much. I'd heard rumors of John being into drugs, and that saddened me... and somehow I felt above all of that, and that I never needed to look back. Since then I've been thrown back, and I am so freakin' thankful for it because it gives so much perspective. I don't know... I wonder if any of this makes any sense. It's just funny. Senior year of college I never could have imagined what was to come. But... that same statement can be made for every year I was in college, and even the time that has elapsed since. It's mind-boggling.
When I write songs for the band, I take a feeling that I have, and I describe it in scenario - form. (For the lyrics of course, music is a whole different beast.) But... I never make any kind of conscious effort to include specifics in the lyrics of a song... they're just meant to mirror an abstract feeling. It's funny though, when I go back and read what I've written, in almost every song there's a reference to the passage of time and how I feel about it since.
Six Years in Korea is 100% about it. I mean, there's not even an obscure reference there. That's what the song is about. It's about looking back and saying, "Wow. Just... damn."
Roadside Rave has elements of it too... the music reminded me of the feeling of being out of the woods sorta, and that's how the song wrote itself. It's a sort of "Wow, that was wild, but we're okay now" sort of feeling. So it's got elements of the passage of time too.
Five Forced Smiles does it again. The whole song, the lyrics stay in the present, describing a sad scenario and a lost feeling. But then the very last verse describes what happens after time, and the overall joy that sorta comes back in.
Senses doesn't really make any direct references, although each verse is about a different person, and that itself sorta represents time.
What I Missed is almost as direct as Six Years in Korea. It's just about, well, "what I missed." The feeling of looking back on something you didn't even think about and having to sort of ruminate on it. It's a messed up feeling, but there it is again. All that time bullshit.
Sieze the Night isn't quite as time-oriented. I wrote it about the glory days of college, but there isn't really a sense of reflection. Well, come to think of it, maybe there is a little bit. As it asks the question, "Do you remember?" a lot. I don't know.
In the Distance doesn't do it as much either... it is also more direct. And it sounds like a Nintendo game.
The new funk song that doesn't have a name yet is also very much reflective upon changing times. It's about those people you know so well at one point and then sorta lose somewhere along the way.
Anyway, I just realized that I've written a buttload of songs. That's kinda cool.
But, I notice in a lot of songs the trend to put different verses in different times, as if one was written one year, and another verse in another year. They're written in present tense, but they're separated by goings on. It'd be like writing, "Well, I'm out here in my horse and buggy and it's awesome" then singing a chorus and then being like, "So today I am flying around in my space ship and it's hott with two t's." It's funny... and maybe a little abnormal. I wonder what all of that means regarding my psyche. Who knows.
This entry is long enough. Time to go do something else.
Peace out home slices.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Mucho Gusto
Igualmente
It's Friday night and what am I doing? I'm sitting in front of my mother's computer in a pair of pink pajama pants with cats on it, and a "Property of Montour Wrestling" t-shirt, typing in my blog. There is no beer in my hand, nor is there any music playing. This is not a typical Friday night.
I feel that this is okay, because I had a Friday-esque night last night. Mad Mex, Iron City in aluminum bottles, and good friends. A perfect weekend night, despite being Thursday.
Anyway, I think I need to get something pierced. I haven't gotten a piercing in a long time. I want one. I miss all that stuff. I wish I wasn't 23. When you get to be 23, suddenly piercings seem to be "too young." I wish that wasn't the case. Bleh.
I wish I had something worthwhile to say tonight, but I really don't. I guess I'm just bored. I probably should have gone out tonight, but my sister and brother in-law are in town... so I stayed here to chill with them, but they went to bed at like, 11. Geez, had I known we wouldn't be doing anything, I'd be out at a bar right now. Oh well. Perhaps it's better for my health and my wallet that I'm here in my pajamas instead. Maybe I'll read a book. Although, I have no good books to read. I've finished the ones I was reading before. Maybe I'll take a trip to Barnes and Noble tomorrow.
Maybe I'll watch Anchorman tonight. Josh burned me the DVD, and he and I tried to watch it last weekend, but I fell asleep and missed all the good parts. Yeah. That sounds like a good plan. Ron Burgundy, here I come!
It's Friday night and what am I doing? I'm sitting in front of my mother's computer in a pair of pink pajama pants with cats on it, and a "Property of Montour Wrestling" t-shirt, typing in my blog. There is no beer in my hand, nor is there any music playing. This is not a typical Friday night.
I feel that this is okay, because I had a Friday-esque night last night. Mad Mex, Iron City in aluminum bottles, and good friends. A perfect weekend night, despite being Thursday.
Anyway, I think I need to get something pierced. I haven't gotten a piercing in a long time. I want one. I miss all that stuff. I wish I wasn't 23. When you get to be 23, suddenly piercings seem to be "too young." I wish that wasn't the case. Bleh.
I wish I had something worthwhile to say tonight, but I really don't. I guess I'm just bored. I probably should have gone out tonight, but my sister and brother in-law are in town... so I stayed here to chill with them, but they went to bed at like, 11. Geez, had I known we wouldn't be doing anything, I'd be out at a bar right now. Oh well. Perhaps it's better for my health and my wallet that I'm here in my pajamas instead. Maybe I'll read a book. Although, I have no good books to read. I've finished the ones I was reading before. Maybe I'll take a trip to Barnes and Noble tomorrow.
Maybe I'll watch Anchorman tonight. Josh burned me the DVD, and he and I tried to watch it last weekend, but I fell asleep and missed all the good parts. Yeah. That sounds like a good plan. Ron Burgundy, here I come!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Molly's Problem
Just one of many
Today as I sat at my kitchen table trying to write lyrics to some new music I came up with on a whim, my cat jumped up on the wine chest next to me and proceeded to yell in my ear. The way this works is that my kitchen table is sorta in a corner of the room... it's relatively close to three walls... enough room that you can comfortably pull chairs out, but in the very corner, there is a wine chest that is exactly the right height for a cat to sit on in order for it to yell in your ear over your shoulder while you're trying to eat dinner (or write song lyrics as this case had been.) Anyway, I digress.
So I was trying to write these lyrics... and I was just about done... and I was trying to come up with a good name for the song, and Molly (the cat) was yelling at me, and I turned to her and I said, "What is your problem?!?" And she looked so cute there, yelling at me, that I got into cutesy wootsey mode and in a cutesy wootsie voice said, (in the third person of course, because it's cutesy wootsey) "What is Molly's problem?" And then it dawned on me. "Molly's Problem" is a really cool name for a song.
That's really all I had to say about that, and I never did find out what her problem was.
I've been thinking too much lately about what I'm doing with my life. I've come to the conclusion that I have some pretty crazy idealistic things that I want to accomplish. When I broke the news to the world that I wanted to go to grad school for writing, I got a mainly unfavorable response, and that bummed me out. This has led me to believe that I am going to maintain some of these crazy goals I've set for myself, but instead of seeking support, I'm just going to do it. I have lots of things I want to accomplish in my life that most of the world doesn't know about. And actually, I don't think I'm going to make these aspirations public, because I don't like the "reality won't let you do that" response I usually get. True, they may be correct, but nowadays I think that's my mistake to make, and I'm going to be young and stupid and live life to the fullest and make stupid idealistic mistakes. Now's the time for me to make a plan and stick to it, and, if need be, not tell anyone about it because I don't need anyone's negativity changing my mind. Claire has to tap into Claire. Just today I came up with some good clues about what I need to be doing. I'm set. I'm ready to chase after stuff you can't chase after when you're old. I've got a steady job that pays the bills, and that's just fine for me while I look to see if this other stuff pans out. And if it doesn't, then I'll go be a working stiff and teach in a school or otherwise humor my education. And if I fail miserably, well then, it will only be myself I disappoint and I won't have to hear any "I told you so"s from the original naysayers.
Yeah. At least I know I've got full support from Claire Whaley. She's a smart cookie. I trust her judgment.
"Senseless hope and paper dreams
Come rush my head
To me that's how it seems
Is it my dream?"
~ Photographs by The Great Fall
Today as I sat at my kitchen table trying to write lyrics to some new music I came up with on a whim, my cat jumped up on the wine chest next to me and proceeded to yell in my ear. The way this works is that my kitchen table is sorta in a corner of the room... it's relatively close to three walls... enough room that you can comfortably pull chairs out, but in the very corner, there is a wine chest that is exactly the right height for a cat to sit on in order for it to yell in your ear over your shoulder while you're trying to eat dinner (or write song lyrics as this case had been.) Anyway, I digress.
So I was trying to write these lyrics... and I was just about done... and I was trying to come up with a good name for the song, and Molly (the cat) was yelling at me, and I turned to her and I said, "What is your problem?!?" And she looked so cute there, yelling at me, that I got into cutesy wootsey mode and in a cutesy wootsie voice said, (in the third person of course, because it's cutesy wootsey) "What is Molly's problem?" And then it dawned on me. "Molly's Problem" is a really cool name for a song.
That's really all I had to say about that, and I never did find out what her problem was.
I've been thinking too much lately about what I'm doing with my life. I've come to the conclusion that I have some pretty crazy idealistic things that I want to accomplish. When I broke the news to the world that I wanted to go to grad school for writing, I got a mainly unfavorable response, and that bummed me out. This has led me to believe that I am going to maintain some of these crazy goals I've set for myself, but instead of seeking support, I'm just going to do it. I have lots of things I want to accomplish in my life that most of the world doesn't know about. And actually, I don't think I'm going to make these aspirations public, because I don't like the "reality won't let you do that" response I usually get. True, they may be correct, but nowadays I think that's my mistake to make, and I'm going to be young and stupid and live life to the fullest and make stupid idealistic mistakes. Now's the time for me to make a plan and stick to it, and, if need be, not tell anyone about it because I don't need anyone's negativity changing my mind. Claire has to tap into Claire. Just today I came up with some good clues about what I need to be doing. I'm set. I'm ready to chase after stuff you can't chase after when you're old. I've got a steady job that pays the bills, and that's just fine for me while I look to see if this other stuff pans out. And if it doesn't, then I'll go be a working stiff and teach in a school or otherwise humor my education. And if I fail miserably, well then, it will only be myself I disappoint and I won't have to hear any "I told you so"s from the original naysayers.
Yeah. At least I know I've got full support from Claire Whaley. She's a smart cookie. I trust her judgment.
"Senseless hope and paper dreams
Come rush my head
To me that's how it seems
Is it my dream?"
~ Photographs by The Great Fall
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Dusty ol' Blog
Check this shit out, I'm back in my blog. I'm looking around in this white square blowing dust off stuff. That's how long it's been. I've got good reason though. It's been a wild time.
For one thing, my computer decided that the time has come for it to show me all its files on the screen... and let me click on them... and then not let me do anything else with them. It's such a tease. There's karma for ya. That's what I get for all the "you can look, but don't touch" vibes I've put out to the world. Hahaha... wow.
So anyway, I've had to relocate to 2 feet away - at my mother's computer. It works better, but it's still not the same. Sigh. Time to buy a new computer I guess.
So anyway, what's been going on?
For one, The Great Fall had a show on Friday at Future Tenant, an art gallery downtown. (Haha, it pays to have connections!) We did an acoustic set because the space's concrete walls and floor aren't condusive to reverberating electric stuff. So we didn't bring the drummer, and used acoustic guitar. It took some getting used to - playing all our stuff acoustically, but it worked out pretty well. We had a lot of fun. We played for 2 solid hours, which was rough, but we had a grand time anyway. This was especially because although we didn't get paid, we did get free beer and snacks. I limited myself to a small amount of beer. John (guitar) on the other hand... well... let's just say he was "singing" with the group by the end of the night. That... was interesting. Anyway, after the show we partied at Sarah's and had a grand time as usual. John got naked of course, and all was right with the world. Haha... that's our extent of living "the rock star life."
One cool thing about it was that Josh was on his way through Pittsburgh to visit the boys, which was also on his way to a new dig. So he was able to come and see the show, which makes me feel great. It's always nice to have a fan... it's good to know that someone in the audience will clap... even if we suck. Fortunately, he seemed to have a good time.
Saturday morning I woke up and prepared to ship Josh off to Virginia to visit the boys. Somehow, however, through discussions about who was going to be there and who was coming back when, I ended up able to go in some strange arrangement involving Josh, Rich, Mike, and Steve. So... with nothing better to do for the weekend, I threw a day's worth of clothes in a bag and hopped into Josh's car for the ride to Virginia.
Saturday night with the boys was a freakin' blast as always. It's always bittersweet seeing them... knowing that we won't know when the next party will be. Not like it used to be in the college days, when you'd know you'd do the same thing next weekend. But regardless, there was plenty of beer pong, plenty of reminiscing, and the usual sub-party. (Usually the sub-party is in the kitchen, but for some reason this time it was on the porch. I guess change is inevitable.) I got to see Jaime for a brief moment... she wasn't there for very long... basically just long enough to exchange pleasantries and then she and Mystical vanished. So that was a bummer.
Sunday morning, the whole hungover group headed to Quizno's for lunch, and we were all to leave from there.
... until Mike's transmission died.
With no mechanics open on Sundays and no place to rent a car, and several people too confused to know exactly what to do in the situation, we all returned to Damien's for another night. This was fun because I got to take a day off of work and spend it with way more fun people than medical insurance claims examiners, however, my cell phone had died (why would I bring my charger? I'd only be there for about 24 hours...) and I had no clean socks. So... I was mildly whiney and uncomfortable. Sometimes you just gotta rough it, I guess.
I hope this blog makes sense. I've got the tv on in the background, and I usually don't do that. Well, usually it's on, but usually it's my mother's favorite programming and I typically have no problem blogging during Law and Order, Cold Case Files, and any other show you can imagine that has the ability to convince my mother that I am going to be raped and killed tomorrow, and therefore should never leave the house.
I am pretty hungry. Maybe it's time to go eat dinner.
Bummer - this keyboard is way nicer than the one on my computer. It's fun to type on it. Woot.
Later on.
For one thing, my computer decided that the time has come for it to show me all its files on the screen... and let me click on them... and then not let me do anything else with them. It's such a tease. There's karma for ya. That's what I get for all the "you can look, but don't touch" vibes I've put out to the world. Hahaha... wow.
So anyway, I've had to relocate to 2 feet away - at my mother's computer. It works better, but it's still not the same. Sigh. Time to buy a new computer I guess.
So anyway, what's been going on?
For one, The Great Fall had a show on Friday at Future Tenant, an art gallery downtown. (Haha, it pays to have connections!) We did an acoustic set because the space's concrete walls and floor aren't condusive to reverberating electric stuff. So we didn't bring the drummer, and used acoustic guitar. It took some getting used to - playing all our stuff acoustically, but it worked out pretty well. We had a lot of fun. We played for 2 solid hours, which was rough, but we had a grand time anyway. This was especially because although we didn't get paid, we did get free beer and snacks. I limited myself to a small amount of beer. John (guitar) on the other hand... well... let's just say he was "singing" with the group by the end of the night. That... was interesting. Anyway, after the show we partied at Sarah's and had a grand time as usual. John got naked of course, and all was right with the world. Haha... that's our extent of living "the rock star life."
One cool thing about it was that Josh was on his way through Pittsburgh to visit the boys, which was also on his way to a new dig. So he was able to come and see the show, which makes me feel great. It's always nice to have a fan... it's good to know that someone in the audience will clap... even if we suck. Fortunately, he seemed to have a good time.
Saturday morning I woke up and prepared to ship Josh off to Virginia to visit the boys. Somehow, however, through discussions about who was going to be there and who was coming back when, I ended up able to go in some strange arrangement involving Josh, Rich, Mike, and Steve. So... with nothing better to do for the weekend, I threw a day's worth of clothes in a bag and hopped into Josh's car for the ride to Virginia.
Saturday night with the boys was a freakin' blast as always. It's always bittersweet seeing them... knowing that we won't know when the next party will be. Not like it used to be in the college days, when you'd know you'd do the same thing next weekend. But regardless, there was plenty of beer pong, plenty of reminiscing, and the usual sub-party. (Usually the sub-party is in the kitchen, but for some reason this time it was on the porch. I guess change is inevitable.) I got to see Jaime for a brief moment... she wasn't there for very long... basically just long enough to exchange pleasantries and then she and Mystical vanished. So that was a bummer.
Sunday morning, the whole hungover group headed to Quizno's for lunch, and we were all to leave from there.
... until Mike's transmission died.
With no mechanics open on Sundays and no place to rent a car, and several people too confused to know exactly what to do in the situation, we all returned to Damien's for another night. This was fun because I got to take a day off of work and spend it with way more fun people than medical insurance claims examiners, however, my cell phone had died (why would I bring my charger? I'd only be there for about 24 hours...) and I had no clean socks. So... I was mildly whiney and uncomfortable. Sometimes you just gotta rough it, I guess.
I hope this blog makes sense. I've got the tv on in the background, and I usually don't do that. Well, usually it's on, but usually it's my mother's favorite programming and I typically have no problem blogging during Law and Order, Cold Case Files, and any other show you can imagine that has the ability to convince my mother that I am going to be raped and killed tomorrow, and therefore should never leave the house.
I am pretty hungry. Maybe it's time to go eat dinner.
Bummer - this keyboard is way nicer than the one on my computer. It's fun to type on it. Woot.
Later on.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
IPEX is Gay
Alright Victoria... you're not all that.
What is with the freakin' "IPEX" bra from Victoria's Secret? They're advertizing it like it's some kind of new electronic device. IT'S A BRA. It's two funny shaped pieces of fabric held together with smaller pieces of fabric. THAT'S ALL. It doesn't record hours of music or tell you where you are from your car or send pictures to your friends. The worst part is that on the commercial, there's of course a hot woman (ugly women don't wear bras evidently) writhing around on a stage and sorta dancing...ish... and waving her arms in a spotlight trying to look sexy. Listen. If all women did all day was writhe around in underthings, it wouldn't really matter what the hell kind of "technology" our bras posessed. Although really, I should lay off the IPEX. I'm sure it's a very nice bra. And I'm so sure it'll be worth the (at least) $50 they'll charge for one. And besides, there are worse Victoria's Secret commercials out there... like the one where all the supermodels look down at their cleavage and then up into the camera all surprised as if to say " Breasts! Tee hee! Chuckle! I have boobies! Whee!"
I'm boycotting Victoria's Secret. Now, I know any woman will tell you that she swears by it, but really, I think that these women have just been brainwashed by the Victoria's Secret marketing schemes. Because, you know what? I have bought bras from department stores... good bras! Expensive bras... and yet they were still cheaper and still more comfortable than my Victoria's Secret bras. Take that Victoria's Secret capitalistic bra mongers!
Yeah, that's what I thought.
What is with the freakin' "IPEX" bra from Victoria's Secret? They're advertizing it like it's some kind of new electronic device. IT'S A BRA. It's two funny shaped pieces of fabric held together with smaller pieces of fabric. THAT'S ALL. It doesn't record hours of music or tell you where you are from your car or send pictures to your friends. The worst part is that on the commercial, there's of course a hot woman (ugly women don't wear bras evidently) writhing around on a stage and sorta dancing...ish... and waving her arms in a spotlight trying to look sexy. Listen. If all women did all day was writhe around in underthings, it wouldn't really matter what the hell kind of "technology" our bras posessed. Although really, I should lay off the IPEX. I'm sure it's a very nice bra. And I'm so sure it'll be worth the (at least) $50 they'll charge for one. And besides, there are worse Victoria's Secret commercials out there... like the one where all the supermodels look down at their cleavage and then up into the camera all surprised as if to say "
I'm boycotting Victoria's Secret. Now, I know any woman will tell you that she swears by it, but really, I think that these women have just been brainwashed by the Victoria's Secret marketing schemes. Because, you know what? I have bought bras from department stores... good bras! Expensive bras... and yet they were still cheaper and still more comfortable than my Victoria's Secret bras. Take that Victoria's Secret capitalistic bra mongers!
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Come Up To
It's where you'll find me
I was exhausted all day at work today. Kind of a shame. I guess that's the price I pay for partying all weekend. It was so worth it though, and it's obvious to everyone in the band that The Great Fall is experiencing a massive "second wind" due to finding the new drummer. We've been cranking out new songs like nobody's business, and calling each other up begging to meet so we can play them. I really think some of our newest stuff is some of our best stuff. Haha... it's kinda funny... I'm talking about "new stuff" and "old stuff" as if there's more than a few months' difference between the two. Haha.
Everyone's bummed today. That makes me bummed. But you know what makes me kinda happy? My mom is over on the couch trying to watch a DVD that's acting funny, and she totally just said, "Well this certainly sucks." This is not funny unless you know my mother. She doesn't say any words that even resemble dirty words. I don't know. I got a kick out of it. I guess the whole cancer thing'll really teach ya not to sweat the small stuff.
I think I'm coming back around. Sophomore year of college I sorta got slapped in the face with one trauma after another, and I really sorta grew numb. After that, I was always in Erie, away from all the sources of the problems, and I was able to retreat back into that other life, where things were just as they had always been before the crap, whereas the life I left at home changed so much. So... when I was at school it was almost like nothing had happened, and I could just live in safety, and call upon my numbness from it whenever I went home for those short breaks. Nowadays, I'm back here. I see the mail that still comes for my dad, I see the pictures, I hear the CDs, I'm around it. And, now it's been a while, so I think it's healthy for me to be around that. It lets me remember without being really overly freaked out. However, I think the whole process has let me sort of thaw. I'm not as numb as I used to be, and I can't tell how that's affecting me. I don't know if it's changing me for the better... making me more human or something, or changing me for the worse... making me weaker and whinier. I just don't know. Maybe it's just crossing my path at the right time... clearing my head a little bit by giving me a dose of reality. I really don't think it's a bad thing, but it makes me miss the friends I had at Mercyhurst, and even just the campus itself. It makes me miss the safety I had... the retreat... the replacement life. Anyway, it's nice to be able to feel stuff about stuff anymore... and not just bad stuff. I think it's made me a little bit more happy about stuff... a little bit more into stuff... I get more excited, and I think I'm even more romantic in a way. I don't know, it's hard to explain. I'm more passionate, I think. And that's certainly not a bad thing. This comes from the Great Fall too I think, as my bandmates are emoholics. I don't know.
I'll leave you with a Great Fall lyric (which I didn't write)
Come up to
It's where you'll find me
I don't want my scarred up past
To bring back tragedy
I was exhausted all day at work today. Kind of a shame. I guess that's the price I pay for partying all weekend. It was so worth it though, and it's obvious to everyone in the band that The Great Fall is experiencing a massive "second wind" due to finding the new drummer. We've been cranking out new songs like nobody's business, and calling each other up begging to meet so we can play them. I really think some of our newest stuff is some of our best stuff. Haha... it's kinda funny... I'm talking about "new stuff" and "old stuff" as if there's more than a few months' difference between the two. Haha.
Everyone's bummed today. That makes me bummed. But you know what makes me kinda happy? My mom is over on the couch trying to watch a DVD that's acting funny, and she totally just said, "Well this certainly sucks." This is not funny unless you know my mother. She doesn't say any words that even resemble dirty words. I don't know. I got a kick out of it. I guess the whole cancer thing'll really teach ya not to sweat the small stuff.
I think I'm coming back around. Sophomore year of college I sorta got slapped in the face with one trauma after another, and I really sorta grew numb. After that, I was always in Erie, away from all the sources of the problems, and I was able to retreat back into that other life, where things were just as they had always been before the crap, whereas the life I left at home changed so much. So... when I was at school it was almost like nothing had happened, and I could just live in safety, and call upon my numbness from it whenever I went home for those short breaks. Nowadays, I'm back here. I see the mail that still comes for my dad, I see the pictures, I hear the CDs, I'm around it. And, now it's been a while, so I think it's healthy for me to be around that. It lets me remember without being really overly freaked out. However, I think the whole process has let me sort of thaw. I'm not as numb as I used to be, and I can't tell how that's affecting me. I don't know if it's changing me for the better... making me more human or something, or changing me for the worse... making me weaker and whinier. I just don't know. Maybe it's just crossing my path at the right time... clearing my head a little bit by giving me a dose of reality. I really don't think it's a bad thing, but it makes me miss the friends I had at Mercyhurst, and even just the campus itself. It makes me miss the safety I had... the retreat... the replacement life. Anyway, it's nice to be able to feel stuff about stuff anymore... and not just bad stuff. I think it's made me a little bit more happy about stuff... a little bit more into stuff... I get more excited, and I think I'm even more romantic in a way. I don't know, it's hard to explain. I'm more passionate, I think. And that's certainly not a bad thing. This comes from the Great Fall too I think, as my bandmates are emoholics. I don't know.
I'll leave you with a Great Fall lyric (which I didn't write)
Come up to
It's where you'll find me
I don't want my scarred up past
To bring back tragedy
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Hobbit Chotch
And other great band names
It's been a really awesome weekend. Josh was in town, and we hung out with pretty much all the friends we have at some point or another, so it was productive and a blast. So, now I'm exhausted, but you know what? It was worth it. I even got to hang out with my cousin Mat, whom I don't usually see outside of Christmas and/or Easter celebrations with the family. So, that was really cool too.
I am so freakin' excited. The Great Fall may have finally found the drummer for which it's been looking! We met with a friend of a friend of John's today, whose name was Tyler... and it was freakish how quickly he picked up on the songs we played. He really got a feel for the style right away, and could tell the changes as they were happenning. He did some really cool fills and added a hell of a lot to the sound. I really really hope he wants to be in the band... we were sorta feeling each other out (out, not up) and we certainly liked him, so hopefully he'll like us just as much. I got a good vibe from the kid, so maybe he'll stick with us and we can get this shit picked up again. I didn't know I'd miss Zack as much as I did. Time to get some new gigs methinks. I would LOVE to play Mr. Smalls again. Even just having professional microphones and sound equipment was totally worth it. It was freakin' great. Ah well.
I think I need to go to bed. I never quite recovered from the weekend, so it's time to do that now.
Woot.
It's been a really awesome weekend. Josh was in town, and we hung out with pretty much all the friends we have at some point or another, so it was productive and a blast. So, now I'm exhausted, but you know what? It was worth it. I even got to hang out with my cousin Mat, whom I don't usually see outside of Christmas and/or Easter celebrations with the family. So, that was really cool too.
I am so freakin' excited. The Great Fall may have finally found the drummer for which it's been looking! We met with a friend of a friend of John's today, whose name was Tyler... and it was freakish how quickly he picked up on the songs we played. He really got a feel for the style right away, and could tell the changes as they were happenning. He did some really cool fills and added a hell of a lot to the sound. I really really hope he wants to be in the band... we were sorta feeling each other out (out, not up) and we certainly liked him, so hopefully he'll like us just as much. I got a good vibe from the kid, so maybe he'll stick with us and we can get this shit picked up again. I didn't know I'd miss Zack as much as I did. Time to get some new gigs methinks. I would LOVE to play Mr. Smalls again. Even just having professional microphones and sound equipment was totally worth it. It was freakin' great. Ah well.
I think I need to go to bed. I never quite recovered from the weekend, so it's time to do that now.
Woot.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Sometimes Girls Need to be Held
Thank goodness the right arms are on the way
It's just one of those days. It's one of those days when everybody has deathly serious news to talk about. It's one of those days when the ladies from the office come into my room to talk about who died or who has cancer or who's in Iraq instead of what's for lunch or "isn't the new guy in the Flex department cute?" It's one of those days you get stuck in traffic and swear a lot only to realize when you finally get through to the next street that there's been a car accident and there's blood and glass all over the road. It's one of those days when you go out into a friend's car with him so he can smoke a cigarette... and end up hearing his entire life story... and you wonder how he made it. It's one of those days when you finally get home, after the day of work with the serious topics, the time in the car with the scary life story, and the time spent driving past the blood-soaked pavement, and you hope to sit down and relax but instead you find your mother crying. It's one of those days when you sign on, hoping to talk to the one you know will bring you comfort, and he's nowhere to be found. It's just one of those days I guess.
I feel bad. I went to sing with John today because he wrote a new song. I feel bad because my heart just wasn't in it... and he could totally tell. I think he thought I didn't like the song, and that wasn't it at all. Usually, despite having a terrible singing voice, I can get into the song enough that the occasional bad note almost sounds heroic. That wasn't the case today. I'll have to make up for it at practice tomorrow.
I've written lines to about 2398 new songs... but I can't take the songs anywhere... they're not writing themselves like they usually do.
I guess I shouldn't be here typing. After all, I promised my mother I'd go to the store for her. Actually, that's a lie. It was more like I walked in the door and she TOLD me I was going to the store for her. Nope, she didn't ASK me, she TOLD me. Now, I understand that she has cancer, and therefore does not have to be polite to anybody anymore. I'm an ungrateful daughter and ought to be taken out back and shot for thinking ill of anything she does. Heh... funny how just recently I wrote in here about how I hate passive/aggressive behavior, and now here I am, all irritated because my mother ordered me to go to the store for her. I guess I should be grateful that she was frank with me. Although, really, a "Claire, I need some things from the store. Could you please go get them for me?" would have been direct AND polite. This, of course, is from the woman who always made sure I said please and thank you before I was fucking old enough to talk.
But hey! Cancer patients can have anything they want. And anybody who gets annoyed with them is evil and doomed to rot in hell for all eternity.
I'll be sure to bring a fan.
It's just one of those days. It's one of those days when everybody has deathly serious news to talk about. It's one of those days when the ladies from the office come into my room to talk about who died or who has cancer or who's in Iraq instead of what's for lunch or "isn't the new guy in the Flex department cute?" It's one of those days you get stuck in traffic and swear a lot only to realize when you finally get through to the next street that there's been a car accident and there's blood and glass all over the road. It's one of those days when you go out into a friend's car with him so he can smoke a cigarette... and end up hearing his entire life story... and you wonder how he made it. It's one of those days when you finally get home, after the day of work with the serious topics, the time in the car with the scary life story, and the time spent driving past the blood-soaked pavement, and you hope to sit down and relax but instead you find your mother crying. It's one of those days when you sign on, hoping to talk to the one you know will bring you comfort, and he's nowhere to be found. It's just one of those days I guess.
I feel bad. I went to sing with John today because he wrote a new song. I feel bad because my heart just wasn't in it... and he could totally tell. I think he thought I didn't like the song, and that wasn't it at all. Usually, despite having a terrible singing voice, I can get into the song enough that the occasional bad note almost sounds heroic. That wasn't the case today. I'll have to make up for it at practice tomorrow.
I've written lines to about 2398 new songs... but I can't take the songs anywhere... they're not writing themselves like they usually do.
I guess I shouldn't be here typing. After all, I promised my mother I'd go to the store for her. Actually, that's a lie. It was more like I walked in the door and she TOLD me I was going to the store for her. Nope, she didn't ASK me, she TOLD me. Now, I understand that she has cancer, and therefore does not have to be polite to anybody anymore. I'm an ungrateful daughter and ought to be taken out back and shot for thinking ill of anything she does. Heh... funny how just recently I wrote in here about how I hate passive/aggressive behavior, and now here I am, all irritated because my mother ordered me to go to the store for her. I guess I should be grateful that she was frank with me. Although, really, a "Claire, I need some things from the store. Could you please go get them for me?" would have been direct AND polite. This, of course, is from the woman who always made sure I said please and thank you before I was fucking old enough to talk.
But hey! Cancer patients can have anything they want. And anybody who gets annoyed with them is evil and doomed to rot in hell for all eternity.
I'll be sure to bring a fan.
